This week I prepare to go home for the first time since my mother died. I hadn't really had time to think about what that means to me until today. I am not exactly sure how I will feel about seeing all the familiar sights of home knowing that I won't have to wait 3 hours for my mom to get ready to go anywhere or smell her perfume or hear her incessant talking about whatever squirrels her brain. This isn't a sad trip by any means. It is a trip of new beginnings which can be just as scary as sorrow. I'm opening my heart to whatever comes my way.
I turned 42 this year and the true meaning of life reveals itself when we are ready to see it. I am blessed in so many ways. I have nothing to complain about though I usually can find things to blather on about when I'm not mindful. I'm hoping to DO as little as possible this time around and enjoy what summer has to offer as it offers itself.
This year my Meem will be turning 82 years old. I know her days are numbered as she reaches the sunset of her life and I have looked up to this woman my whole life. She has always been my rock; a silent partner of courage. It will be great to see her again and I hope she has been doing well. I call, but she hardly ever answers the phone. That is just how she is...mostly silent and wise and very happy to be in her own company for long periods of time.
This trip will be the first time my Pop has had a chance to get to know his grand-daughter, really know her as a person. Their encounters in recent history have been awkward exchanges at funerals or when she was too young to really remember. I hope it is the beginning of a wonderful relationship, because he is a pretty amazing man. The stories of his adventures in this great country have always seemed fantastical to me. He is a man of patience and perseverance. He is honest to a fault. He is a man of quiet love. All the best things in my life I have learned from him despite our scattered time together over the years. Many people talk a good game, he just lives one.
This trip will be about spending time with family, laughing, talking, and sharing ourselves in an honest way. I might even get to meet a few friends whom I have known online and who I have collaborated with as a writer. Who knows....we might even work some geocaching in there too.
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