Art Bomb-2/27/2015 Leonard Nimoy Tribute

Aleathia says:

This afternoon I heard Michael say, "This was a day all Trekkies knew would come, eventually." Since I have known Michael he has been heavily into Star Trek.  He can watch it for days without end, owns memorabilia, books, films etc.  He has never called himself a Trekkie despite knowing it was true.  Today, on the death of Leonard Nimoy, he admits this.

Yes, we have lost Spock.  He was a sci-fi hero, a singer, a photographer, a director, actor, and family man.  I remember watching him as a child with my grandmother.  She was the only one in the house that liked sci-fi.  I remember loving his character's very calculated way of speaking.  I remember spending many hours training my fingers to split in just the right way so I too could "Live Long and Prosper".  I later used these talents to also be able to Na-noo, Na-noo.  But that, my friends, is a horse of a different color.

Today at The Forked Road we shall remember Leonard Nimoy, but not for his adventures in space, but for his work as a photographer.

He shockingly did a series on large bodied women called The Full Body Project that was at the same time tasteful and inspiring.  It allows that just because someone is overweight does not mean they are not intelligent and beautiful and useful to society.  It gives these women a moment to shine and stand proud.

Nimoy also did another photography series called Secret Selves which looks at the lost or hidden self. The idea was that people would share who or what they always wanted to be by way of photograph.  I love this idea of being able to set a secret free.

It is a solemn day in our house.  My best friend has lost a friend, not just a character.  Thank you Leonard Nimoy for all that you have done for so many generations.  Thank you for letting children and adults open their minds and believe that we can achieve great connection with a little effort.  We shall see you in the afterlife my friend.  Live Long and Prosper.

Foodies-2/26/2015 FODMAP (or trying not to ignite my eating disorder)

Aleathia says:

It is no secret that I have had a struggle with food my whole life.  In high school I had an eating disorder that I thankfully was able to wean myself out of and modify to survive somewhat normally. I would binge eat because I hated myself.  I would sit there crying as I shoved the food in my mouth knowing that I was not hungry and that I would regret it in the long run, but I couldn't stop.  I would hate myself even more the next day and do a combination of starvation and exercise and excessive gum chewing to make up for what I had eaten.  I was able to get away with not eating because my mother was either not home or intoxicated so she didn't follow my habits.

It was a miserable existence.  I know why it started.  Binge eating for me was about filling a hole.  I had a shitty emotional life and that was my coping skill along with joining every club I possibly could to not have to go home.  I have a love hate relationship with food.  Good food makes you feel good.  I just have a hard time stopping putting it in my mouth.  Diets are a touchy subject for me because if it involves counting calories I get uniquely obsessive and anxious and the eating disorder wants to creep out.  I promised myself I would never go back to that place.  Never.

The reason I stopped in my senior year, despite my life having not changed, was that a friend of mine was also suffering with bulimia, but was enacting the vomiting portion of the disease.  She was getting ill and as friends an intervention was staged and she was put in a program for help.  I understood where she was coming from.  I knew the pain she was held down by and I didn't want to have to go through an intervention myself if anyone found out about me.  So I did my best to quit my behaviors.  It was hard.  It is still hard to find balance.  I haven't gotten very good at it.

Last August we went off our gluten free diet.  I was only on it to support Michael while his stomach healed and we found his real allergy which was peanuts.  We were also tired of not having fun and enjoying fairs and nights out.  It felt like we were trapped in a box or that we were in our 70's.  It was depressing, so we thought we would cheat off the gluten free diet just a little.  We are full force gluten again and it is the worst I have felt in 3 years.  I gained 20 pounds, my joints ache terrible, and I have abdominal discomfort almost all day long.  You would think that would be enough to stop, but it isn't.

There have been some studies coming out about whether or not gluten is really the problem or if it is the sugars created by the gluten that cause the problems.  There is some sort of diet called FODMAP which guides people to eat foods that will not cause the stomach to have high fermentable items in the intestines.  Sugars, gluten, and yeast cause fermentation.  I started looking this up today because I am getting so uncomfortable in my body.  Michael rolled his eyes because he knows that I have such a hard time sticking with it.  He was nice enough to say I wasn't weak, just easily swayed.  He and I have both had food problems though his was more about germs so I know he understands the difficulty in trying to stop bad habits.

The FODMAP list is very reasonable.  There are inclusions of so many things that I love to eat, but the thought of excising all the stuff I have been eating throws me into a panic...a deep internal struggle despite knowing I will feel so much better in the end.  I have to do something.  Even if it hurts.

Lit Bits-2/25/2015 Sena Jeter Naslund

Aleathia says:

By Job I finished a book today.  It was a long one...almost 500 pages.  This used to not be a huge feat for me, but as I have gotten older my attention span is waning.  It seems harder to sit still long enough to read.  Maybe this is ADD or maybe it is just the culture of instantaneous gratification that has taken over my life.  I hate to think it is the latter, but it is most likely the reason.

I forced myself to sit down and read for almost 2 hours to finish out "All The King's Men".  It was a fantastic book.  I didn't expect to like it so much as it started out based in politics and ended up a book on personal discovery and truth through hard life.  I feel great to have finished it.  With that one done I have now read 29 of the 86 Pulitzer Prize winning novels for fiction.  I will get there some day.

Today I was looking through the stack of books that I had started over the last 2 years but not finished.  I feel bad for these books because they weren't boring by any means.  I was a bad reader and couldn't keep task.  So the next few books will be finishing what I've started.

"Abundance: A Novel of Marie Antoinette" by Sena Jeter Naslund is next on the hit list.  I have always been very interested in the life of Marie Antoinette but was never a good reader of non-fiction.  This is not a biography, but it reads like one with a bit of creative licence.  There has to be some historical significance to it at least culturally.  There would have been much research into the time in which she lived, the customs, the dress, the mannerisms.  Who knows, this might spark me to read a biography of her in the future.  It feels great to be reading again.

Let's Go Somewhere-2/24/2015 Yes, let's

Aleathia says:

Since we have bought the house we haven't left it much.  Sure we have gone locally to places no more than 3 hours away, but we haven't GONE anywhere.  I might be suffering from cabin fever.  I might have used up all of my sedentary stores.  I feel like I need to go somewhere.

Having said that I can't think of where to go for the life of me.  There isn't one particular place grabbing me and pulling me there, but more so I think it is the desire to see a different environment. My curiosity in the world is waking up again.  It has been a long few years of hard work, death, and huge life changes.  I am definitely a cocooning sort of girl.  I've cracked open this silk pod and now it is time to see what I can see.

I know I don't want to take a huge trip, because I love sharing the discovery and wonder with my family.  I know I want it to involve art or art museums.  I love wandering around and discovering my own senses and being awed by the inspiration of other humans.

Should I drive there?

Should I fly there?

Do I visit friends?

Do I go where I know no one?

I have officially bitten off all of my fingernails (not that there was much left of them in the first place) trying to decide.  Anyone know of great art exhibits going on that I might like?  Drop a comment and help a sister out.

Quills and Frills-2/21/2015 The Boy Who Wasn't Funny, Aleathia and Chloe Drehmer

Aleathia says:

You Can’t Win Them All

The room was full of awkward silence.

Doug waited patiently for a hint of laughter, a cracked smile, or even a nod of a head to show that what had just come out of his mouth was not just funny to him.  He practiced this joke over and over again in his room, pacing the floor, and attempting to get the timing just right.  His dog Bones watched him intently, his small white head moving from side to side as if he were watching a tennis match.

Sometimes Doug could not contain himself and bust out at the end of the joke.  It was just too funny. But now he was standing in front of his friends nervously waiting.  His palms were slick with sweat, his heart racing, and his mouth dry as the Arizona desert in summer.

Come on, come on….somebody laugh for Christ’s sake, he thought.

The girls looked down at their desks embarrassed for Doug.  The guys had that look in their eye, that look of having something evil to lord over a person at a future date.  It took everything Doug had to not run from the class crying.

“Well, you can’t win ‘em all,” he said as he slunk back to his chair.

Silence ensued.  It was the funeral of Doug’s social life.  It was all downhill from there.

Aleathia Drehmer 2015



Chloe says:

Asfora’s Advanced Sorcerer’s Academy

It was another boring day at Asfora’s Advanced Sorcerer’s Academy (AASA) in the year 2023 where I was currently living in a dorm with my best friend Jamehkey, who is a 13 and a half year old boy, and my younger brother Tiflefer Kuok Jinx III who is 11. My name is Efira Monlehey Jinx, I am 13 years old. I am half-fox, half-human and I am Polish. My brother is crazy and I’m sane. Asfora is a weird place filled with indescribable things. The grass can talk, trees can walk, and cats can play banjoes… (I told you it was weird)… back to the story of yet another unique day at AASA.

                “Hmmmergarbergaberghebabababababa…” That was Jamehkey (Jamey) snoring before my brother jumped on him. Tiflefer (TJ) ran from my bed on one side of the room to Jamey’s bed which was on the other side. “ROOO-UMMPH” yelled my brother as he landed on Jamey who was cringing from the impact and was now on the floor. “Great accomplishment TJ,” I said as I grabbed my black cloak from my tiny closet, “you probably made his kidney explode!” As I was walking toward our bathroom, I heard Jamey moan as he tried to get up off of the floor. I sighed and carried on with my day.

I was the only girl in this entire academy of downright douchebags and just plain dumb people. This was also the reason why I wore a black cloak, black under-garments and everything in between so  I could be singled out. It was now 9:31 am and I was late for biology since I had to help Jamey down to the Witch’s Cauldron, or as other people would call it, the Nurse’s Office. Mr. Drobj was kind enough to excuse me for my “heroic deeds” and before I knew it, I finished his class and went to Math, Scottish Speaking Class, Herb Class, Cooking Class, Dorm Management, and finally Lunch!!!

                As usual, I sat at lunch with Jamey, my brother, Jeskoiay, Afloveter, Samik, Hensao, and 5 other guys. There was one guy who was very quiet who slipped away during the middle of lunch to go to the Library (I didn’t know this at first but I decided to follow him). I also got up unnoticed and proceeded to stalk the new guy who I knew nothing about except that his name was Clark. I waited for him to enter the library first before I entered the separate building myself. I poked him on the shoulder, ever so lightly, then all of the sudden he swirled around and grabbed my throat. Once he saw my black chaciluo (cloak in Pedorfe which is the common language for the people in the west. The main language in the northern area was English, but now it was slowly turning into a mainly Scottish speaking area).

“Oh….. Oh my god… I-I-I’m sooo sorry….. I tho-” Clark released me quickly and his voice was full of embarrassment and a bunch of other things “I thought that you were Jamey or your brother or one of those other bullies.” I looked at him quizzingly and wondered why he was stammering so much… Tons of people in this school have already tried to kill me so… Yeah. As I was looking at him I could tell that he was one of those private/loner/high-tempered/quick to react people (I wasn’t judging him since I was almost all off the things he was except for being private).

“It’s okay dude… no worries,” I said since it was now really awkwardly quit and I had nothing else to say. “You’re like a mermaid with a ton of different seashells, but they aren’t encrusted with dirt or sand, or broken, they are just perfect, little seashells….. Just so you know…” Than he just picked up his book and walked away. I had absolutely no idea what he had met. I was thinking about it all day long, but before I went to bed at 10:35 pm, I knew what he had meant.

You are someone beautiful who has different perspective on things, but they’re the good ones.

Chloe Drehmer 2015

Art Bomb-2/20/2015 Erin McIntosh

Aleathia says:

Continuing on with our 50 states artist series will bring us to Erin McIntosh who originally hails from Ohio, but has made her mark in Athens, GA.  So for all intents and purposes, this entry will represent Georgia.

Erin McIntosh was born in Ohio in 1980, but has lived and received her education in Athens, GA at the University of Georgia.  She has had extensive showings in the state of Georgia both as a soloist and in group exhibition.  She has taught art for a short time in Italy and teaches locally now.  She lives and creates in the great community that makes up Athens.

Years ago I lived in Athens for a short time, but can tell you that it is very rich in artists and musicians.  I worked at a coffee shop and at a kitchen store when I lived there and met a wide variety of special people.  Please enjoy some great art work from Erin McIntosh.  She has pieces for sale at reasonable prices.

From the Organic Series:

"Coral Beach 2"

"Prism Dance"

"Three Zen Circles"

Watercolors and Geometrics:

"Connect no. 117"

"Connect no. 143"

"Connect no 172"

"Foundation no 7"

"Foundation no 8"

Lit Bits-2/18/2015 Ian Leslie is "Curious"

Aleathia says:

So....no I am not finished with "All The King's Men", but I am getting there.  I have maybe 50 more pages to go.  It is a great book so I am not so sure why it is taking me so damn long to get through it. It might have something to do with 8,000 stitches of my cross stitch project, or maybe my binge watching of Helix or Fringe or 12 Monkeys....maybe.

I have found in my advancing years that fiction is harder to read.  It scares me that I might be losing my sense of literary adventure for more stodgy things like non-fiction...gasp!  When I was younger you couldn't get me to crack a non-fiction book unless it was for homework or astrology.  It just didn't happen.  Michael was the opposite.  He spent most of his life reading non-fiction and is now swimming in the great make believe sea of words known as the novel.  Life is spectacular that way.

In addition to reading "All The King's Men" and "The Buddhist's Handbook", I am also teaching myself Basic Statistics from an online text that is 684 pages long.  Let's hope I finish a few things.

On a trip to the library this week to return some items, I found Ian Leslie's book "Curious" on a stand on the shelf.  I was curious about "Curious".  I liked the owl and his quizzical look.

I love choosing books by their covers.  It lets art lead art. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't.  I have made it through a lengthy introduction and the first 15 pages and I am hooked.  "Curious" is a book that pulls apart the types and phases of curiosity.  It explains why it is important for learning more than anything else, and why today's high paced, very connected society is less curious than generations before.

It was interesting to think about how there was a great boom in technology and intelligence once the printing press was invented.  Finally there was a way to spread our individual experiences, experiments, and findings.  The world blossomed and grew.  One would think that in the face of the internet that this would happen again.  We have access to so many remote places in the world.  Ian Leslie states this isn't true.  The internet has spawned a large generation of people with surface curiosity.  These people are not deep thinkers and might not investigate further the new found piece of information or technology.

It talks about how we are stripping away, essentially, the imagination of today's kids by focusing them on only one type of academic path.  Teaching is hyper-focused onto what the kid should become rather than letting the child think and decide for themselves.

I'm not very far into the book yet but I look forward to figuring out how to re-infuse the curiosity back into our world.

Quills and Frills-2/14/2015 This is Love

Aleathia says:

This is love.  The only real love I have ever received from another human besides my child.  I am thankful for him every day.  There is no storm we have not been able to weather with a few crude jokes and some laughter.  He is the only man for me.  There is no other to compare.  Here is to many more.  I love you Michael.

Art Bomb-2/13/2015 My Favorite Things, Jules Breton

Aleathia says:

Yesterday Michael told me he was thinking about things.  Specifically thinking about how he could not tell anyone who my favorite artist was or who my favorite band was.  This disturbed him as it made him feel like he doesn't really know me, or wouldn't be able to prove to others that he did.  He quizzed me on his favorites and I was able to rattle them off quite easily.  This did not make me feel like I knew him better or loved him more.  It was just information stored.

I look at art and any sort of artistic mediums (movies, books, art, music) as a very personal but evolving love affair.  The artist I loved 10 years ago may not steal my heart today.  The same goes for music.  When I was a kid I loved Metallica....now you couldn't pay me to listen to them.  The experiences in my life shape the sorts of visual and auditory media that I enjoy.  There are a few that stick through all time and maybe those are my "favorites".

Michael thought maybe I was just more complex than him and that it why it wasn't apparent what my favorites were.  I explained that I do a lot less sharing than he does.  He speaks of his love affairs in all these various media and I rarely bring them up in conversation.  I never feel like I need to.  I don't feel like they would change the way he loves me or influence the day.  He and I are so very different and that is what makes us a great match.  He consumes things.  He devours them completely and unabashedly where I choose what I look at and listen to based on moods.  Knowing who directed something or who played guitar on such and such a track does not sway my feelings about the piece. I enjoy things at face value.  I enjoy them because they make me feel something even if I am unable to put into words what those feelings are.

There are have been pieces of art that have made me cry when I have seen them in the museum.  Not many have done this really.  There is one piece I saw when I went to Chicago Art Institute that blew me away.  It was tucked in the corner, but when you approached it the light changed.  When you walked backwards away from it, it changed again.  It struck me as odd that I loved it so much because it was not from the time period of painters that I usually enjoy, but the painting brings me so much joy.  I have a copy of it (postcard size) by my desk.  It always enlightens my spirit.  I may have posted it here in the past.  It is hard to say.

"Song of the Lark" by Jules Breton

This representation does not do the painting justice.  You have to see it to really appreciate the texture and light quality of this painting.  If you are in Chicago you should stop by and enjoy it.

Lit Bits-2/11/2015 Tribute to Joseph O'Herron

Aleathia says:

It is with great sadness that I heard of the passing of Joseph O'Herron, the father to my good friend Betsy, just this weekend.  I met him a few times.  We were not friends and I am sure he would not have known me from Adam, but there was something warming and nice about his presence.  My memory of him is watching him dance with his wife at the Irish Festival.  There was no one else in their little world as they moved around the dance floor.  I knew this is what love is.  This is what every girl dreams of is a man who can make her the shining star of his life.

Joseph leaves behind this lovely wife and seven children.  He was well loved by his family and by the community.  His passing leaves a hole that was once filled with a beautiful smile and gentle heart.  I feel deeply for my friend Betsy.  I know all too well the loss of a parent.  It is a long road ahead to close the gap.  It will come someday when you least expect it.



There Will Come Soft Rains
by Sara Teasdale

There will come soft rains and the smell of the ground,
And swallows circling with their shimmering sound;

And frogs in the pools singing at night,
And wild plum trees in tremulous white,

Robins will wear their feathery fire
Whistling their whims on a low fence-wire;

And not one will know of the war, not one
Will care at last when it is done.

Not one would mind, neither bird nor tree
If mankind perished utterly;

And Spring herself, when she woke at dawn,
Would scarcely know that we were gone.

Music Monday-2/9/2015 Jack White/Run the Jewels, Aimee Mann

Chloe says:

I went to a Jack White concert a few weekends ago in New York City at the Madison Square Garden. It wasn't as crowded as I thought that it would be, but there were a fair amount of people.

Run The Jewels was the opening band and they were okay, but I don't think that I would listen to them on my own time...... Every time they would start a new song they would jump around and say "HEY HEY HEY" like 20 times before starting the actual song. After Run The Jewels was the amazing Jack White (<3)!

He played a few songs that I knew from The White Stripes like "Hotel Yorba","Cannon", "Seven Nation Army" ,and "Black Bat Licorice" (even though that isn't a White Stripes song). Q-Tip came out for one of the songs which I didn't know the name of and rapped along to one of the songs (maybe Black Bat Licorice but I'm not sure...). Madison Square Garden was fantastically huge...

After the concert we had to walk down like 20 flights of stairs to get to ground level lol, and water there was $5... No joke! But other than the costly water it was a fun time at the concert. This was my second time being in NYC and it was so much fun even though we only had a little bit of time to do a lot of stuff.

We went to the humongous Toys R Us, Pret A Manger (best mocha ever!), Krispy Kreme Donuts (which was the bomb), Penn Station, the Nintendo Store, the Lego store, Rockefeller Center (didn't want to skate there for $50 so I just took like 10 pictures.... at least), This weird place that I forget the name of but it was amazing, and that was it, so I'll just hit the Apple Store another time! Our hotel was a Marriott hotel (I think that that was the name) and it was amazing with plush beds and everything of that sort. And that was what I call an amazing trip to New York City >.<.


Aleathia says:

Everyone remembers Til Tuesday's hit "Voices Carry" from the early 80's.  Aimee Mann's strange, haunting voice seemed like it would be hard to forget, but in all honesty after that song faded out I never listened to Til Tuesday again.  Hell, I didn't even buy the cassette.  It was the beginning of the age of MTV so it was easier to catch it on TV than to spend the money to hear the one song you like.

A month or so ago in the bargain bin at the music store I found a copy of Aimee Mann's debut solo album called Whatever.  I gave it a chance only because I loved her soundtrack to the movie Magnolia in 1999.  I have spun that soundtrack over and over so many times and it was truly the only reason I could stand to watch a movie with Tom Cruise in it.  The music elevated that movie so much.

Songs like Deathly:

or Driving Sideways:

                                     

You really could listen to the album from start to finish and not find a shitty song.  I think her talents have publicly gone unnoticed for a long time.  She has performed with Rush, Matthew Sweet, Cyndi Lauper, and performed on many television shows as a musician and as an actress.  She is active in the music community concerning piracy.

The great thing for me recently was going back to this first solo album in 1993 which seemed to have some buzz around it but never really sold very well and she wasn't particularly noticed until the Magnolia Soundtrack in 1999.  She has made 8 records in her career so far.  I plan on finding them all in the future to see what I have been missing out on.

From her Whatever album, you should check out Fifty Years After the Fair:

and 4th of July (an Elvis Costello favorite):

and Say Anything:

OM-2/8/2015 Being Judgmental

Aleathia says:

For those of you who know me well it is understood that I forgive, but I never forget.  You know that I worry to the point of a character flaw.  This often makes me obsessive about how and when things should be done.  It gives me a static picture of the world.  In this space and time I live in that static picture does not get disrupted too much.  But when it does, oh good gracious, it isn't pretty.

I have been practicing Buddhism since 1997.  Every day is a journey.  Every day I am forced to evaluate my level of understanding, my compassion, and challenge my struggles with impermanence. The whole point is to get off the wheel; to end suffering.  At least, this is how I understand it.  There are a lot of texts in between filled with stories of how to get there.  I won't pretend that I am versed in all of them.  I'm a lazy Buddhist in that sense.  But I believe in that middle way.  When I can walk on it, the world is much clearer and I understand so much more.  I can't claim that road too often.

The other day my daughter was invited to spend the night at a friend's house.  I have met this friend on several occasions and she is a nice girl.  She goes out of her way to say hi to my daughter and is one of the only people whose number has landed in her phone.  I have met the girl's mother too and she seemed nice as well.  So I didn't really hesitate when her friend asked her to spend the night.

I drove her over there in the early evening.  It was way out in the country and we had trouble finding the place.  We eventually did and it didn't look like a bad place until we walked inside.  There were almost 2 dozen cats wandering around the house, dirty dishes, garbage on the floor, feces all over, and my instinct was to grab my kid and tell the friend forget it.  But they were so happy to see each other.  I waited for an adult to surface and when they didn't I asked the friend where her father was. She stated that he went to the gas station for coffee and would be right back.  I accepted her word on it, kissed my kid goodbye, and started my long chain of worry.

All night I sat in a panic attack about the state of the girl's house.  I was reviled by the smell of the place and wanted so much to drive back there and get my kid to the safe, cleanliness of our home.  I also didn't want to be "that" parent.  Michael thought I was being a bit judgmental and mistaking the state of the house for the type of people they are.  This really stung me and I thought about it all night.

Had I really turned into one of those people that looked down their nose at people because their idea of clean was light years from mine?  What sort of example do I set for my child if I yanked her out early?  Am I teaching her to give up?  Am I teaching her that she will always have it good?  It was hard to sit with myself for this conversation.  I sat all night stitching and trying to find the middle way.  I went to bed with palpitations and shortness of breath from panic and hoped for the best in the morning.

When I woke up there was a text from my child telling me there was a rat in her hair.  WHAT???? And then came the picture.  It looked like a hairless rat had died in her hair.  I could feel the panic and the vomit rising.  I know rats (pet ones at least) are pretty clean, but given the state of the house I wasn't sure what to think.  I was supposed to pick my kid up around 4 pm, but I decided that I just couldn't do that.  It was eating me up.  In the face of danger, my compassion for anyone but my own child went out the window.  My solitary focus was extracting her from that place.  I felt a bit hardened towards her friend and the situation.

I arrived at her friend's house and there was no car there which meant no adult.  I had her collect her things and if it were possible, the house was worse after 24 hours.  More feces and some more garbage, and even cat vomit.  The friend asked me for a ride to the local high school where her mother was.  I agreed to drop her off.  On the drive home I had to roll down the window because not only did the friend smell like cat feces, but my own kid did as well.  It was hard to hold back the tears while driving.  It was hard to try and make small talk.  I had so many emotions coming at me at the same time.  Anger, Fear, Sadness, Disgust.

I felt bad that I left my kid in this situation, but more so I felt bad for her friend who had to live like that every day.  The friend didn't seem to think anything was wrong and appeared comfortable in her surroundings which made it even more sad.

After we dropped the friend off, the truth came out.  There were not adults at the house the night before until 9:30 pm!  5 hours alone. She said they left around 9 am in the morning and had not been back when I came to pick her up.  She said she couldn't drink the water because it was brown and dared not eat their food because the kitchen was so foul.  She got scratched by several of the cats and so now we are on the look out for infection and her allergies were so bad (allergic to cats) her eyes and throat hurt.

I was angry and disgusted that the friend's parents live this way when I know they both have jobs and nice cars.  I was angry that they would invite my kid to spend the night when they had no plans on keeping her safe or even being there.  I was angry because these parents did not have the same values as me.  They did not have the same path and did not have the hope that their children's lives would be successful.

I had to explain to my daughter that due to safety reasons she would not be spending the night there ever again and that the state of her friend's living conditions doesn't change how good a friend she is to her.  I had to apologize for seeming judgmental as I made her strip on the porch so I could run the clothes she was wearing to the washing machine filled with hot water and soap.

After her shower she said she felt better and didn't know she could smell that bad just by being in the house.  I used this time to remind her to be thankful of what she has and for being a good guest by not embarrassing her friend by commenting on the state of her living conditions.  In the end, my daughter had "fun".

I am navigating this world the best I can.  I am trying to set a good example of how working hard and being smart and compassionate will help you move forward in the world. I feel like I was put at a cross roads this weekend of being understanding and compassionate and going insane.  It is hard to be a parent.  It is hard to know when to draw the line between over-cautious parent and careless parent.  One will react with the other greatly.  In the end, I hope to learn something about myself from this.  I hope to handle myself better and maybe speak out when the voice is screaming inside rather than let it eat me away.

So much work to do.

Quills and Frills-2/7/2015 Jason Hardung, BangsyDesigns, Aleathia Drehmer

Aleathia says:

The other day I was sort of feeling envious of a person I know about how good of a painter he has become.  He started off a bit rocky, but stuck with it and honed his craft and now his work is something I look forward to seeing.

Jason Hardung is living in Fort Collins, CO.  I met him years ago in Connecticut for a poetry reading and fell in love with his writing then.  I have silently followed his life, watching him grow as a writer and a person, and eventually into a painter.

He started off here:

and ended up here:

I am so happy for him and impressed by his transformation as a painter.  I realized something the other day that each of us has a vision in ourselves that needs to come out.  In Jason's case, paint speaks to him where it says nothing to me when the brush is in my hand.  It feels like a foreign object and the paint feels heavy and clumsy.  I have tried on many occasions to paint...even taken art classes.  I love markers and geometrics.  I feel successful when I use them, but more so in the case of needle arts such as cross stitch.

I began 13 years ago learning to cross stitch an English cottage for a magnet.  It was tedious and the colors were boring, but it was something to do.  In recent years I went rogue and did my own abstract patterns.  I own a software program that converts photos into patterns.  I never really used it to be honest.  Directions were never my strong suit, but in the last year I have embraced it and I find that this is my particular artistic calling.  I can convert my own photographs into tangible art; into something that has depth and texture.  It took this little envy of Jason Hardung's work to make me figure this out.  For that, I am grateful.

And since we are on needle craft as art, my friend Michelle Falco has taken up embroidery (I tried this and fuck all if I can't make it work) and rocking the shit out of it.  

She makes cool decorative pieces that you can buy to hang all over your damn house.  Her Etsy is called BangsyDesigns.  You should go there and buy stuff.

Seriously, Michelle started out here:

and in a few short months has moved on to here:

Get out there and support your aspiring artists.  I know that both Jason Hardung and Michelle Falco do consignment.  Get a hold of them if you need some personalized art.  Power to the people.