My first ever 5k race is quickly approaching. This summer I started out with a couch to 5k program because for my whole life, even as a kid, I did not like running. Why bother to run you ask? This is a great question.
I had to think about it for a long time. Why after a lifetime of not running do I want to start running at age 42? I think there were a lot of subversive reasons for starting. So many of my co-workers run and go off to events with each other. They have this whole other life that I was not included in because I didn't run. Most of the time I am not a joiner. I have been a go at my own pace, loner type person for a long time. Deep down like every other human in the world, I desire to belong to something. I want acceptance. I want to fit in. Also as I age I am beginning to find that I am facing potential health problems that if not taken care of now, will render me pretty poor in the future.
I have rheumatoid arthritis, a thyroid problem, an ovarian problem, and a weight problem. This combination creates pain of all kinds, blood pressure problems, and systemic stresses. I hate taking medication and with all of these problems the medicines have started to find their way into my life and my body. Frankly, it gives me the creeps. I know, I work in the healthcare field, and maybe this is why it bothers me so much. I see people younger than me who have just let life go and are on 20 medications. It isn't the life I want to set before me.
I also wanted to prove something to myself. For years I have told myself that I CAN'T run. I'm too old or too fat or too arthritic. This is not the attitude I was raised to have. This is not the attitude I want to raise my daughter with.....if it's too hard, just give up. This is not an option.
When I started running I was afraid of many things. I was afraid I would have a stroke. I was afraid of pain. I was afraid people would judge me. I was afraid to be secretly made fun of. I was afraid of giving up under the pressure of it all. But something amazing happened.
My running family at work is just that....a family. Never once did they look at me funny when I started running. Every one of them was there to encourage me to keep going, to keep trying. I have lacked this sort of faithful encouragement my whole life. If you look at me, I am not a runner, but never did the seasoned runners at work say a bad word. If anything, they gave me hope.
Runners are a different breed of human. They have to love and hate themselves at the same time because running hurts. You use muscles you never knew you had. The pain is sometimes so unbearable yet I find myself saying "one more block" or "five more minutes" because that is what Michelle would do or Stephanie would do or Karen would do. They have been my champions. They have helped me fall in love with something that is teaching me about my own body, about my strengths and weaknesses, about my mental health, and how to be together with a history of people while still being very alone.
When I run, no matter where I run, people say things like "keep it up" or "great job". It makes me want to push harder and achieve more. It gives me a strength of spirit that I never expected. Every run is a learning experience. Every run I find my groove, sort of like Stella, but in a different way.
The Selfless Elf 5K is to benefit the Food Bank of the Southern Tier and as of today it has over 800 runners signed up. We will be running to feed the people of our community and I can't think of a better thing to run for. If you run or walk, you can still sign up to participate.
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