I'm pretty excited that I have made it three consecutive days to the mat. I am usually pretty gung ho about starting things and not so great about finishing. I have a bit the complacent/lazy gene if things don't seem to be moving along as I would like. I have enlisted the help of my friend Annette who is going on this journey with me. Sometimes things are better with buddies.
Yoga Day 2 had the affirmation of "I Create" and in good fashion the instructor left it up to each student to decide what exactly they wanted to create for themselves at that moment, in that practice. I decided that I needed to create space. All of my muscles are bunched together and I have felt really buried and closed in lately. Thinking about wide open space was the right choice.
This practice was a longer one lasting about an hour. It was full of forward bends and side twists and activating abdominal muscles. When a person is grossly overweight in the abdominal area and has had rheumatoid arthritis since 16, doing forward bends is akin to having your spin ripped out and putting your abdominal rolls in a vice. It made me very sweaty and I felt emotionally challenged that I had let myself go this long. I discovered muscles I forgot I had and ones that I wished had remained anonymous. But when I was done I was warm and felt taller and accomplished.
Yoga Camp Day 3 put forth the affirmation of "I Embrace". Thinking about all the unrest that is happening at work and how painful it is to go there most nights because of clashing personalities, I decided to embrace loving-kindness. The idea of loving-kindness is very prevalent in Buddhism and it is something I try to work on all the time. I don't always succeed, but I do try to bring it to each day. I don't believe I have ever thought about embracing loving-kindness while doing a yoga practice and being present with that idea that I will not only embrace it for other people but embrace it for myself. I am often my own worst enemy in this life.
After three days of yoga and affirmations, I have found that I feel lighter in spirit. My muscles feel longer and the subtle soreness in the core and shoulders linger to give a gentle reminder of what I am out to achieve. I know I haven't lost any weight, but I feel skinnier. Sometimes lifting that barrier in the mind is more powerful that we can understand while it is happening. I am not sure what I will feel like at the end of this journey, but for now, I feel great.
Thanks Annette for going on this journey with me even though we are practicing in different places at different times. I keep your friendship with me as I'm moving through poses I think I can't do.
Aleathia
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