7/22/2015 Going Home, Part 2

Aleathia says:

I returned this week from a trip to my hometown to see my Pop and his wife Carol as well as my Meem.  This was the first long trip I have taken with my dear Chloe since she was about 10 years old. It was a fun time in the car playing alternating choices in music. She endured my old folks music and I made it through an entire CD of Pierce the Veil without vomiting. There was some great crossover likes with Green Day, The White Stripes, and The Postal Service. She even sang along to some Aretha Franklin and only looked at me slightly weird when I played The Smiths.  We had time to talk and laugh and just hang out together without the pressures of regular life.  I think we really needed this; I really needed this.

We were supposed to stay at Meem's house, but my Pop really wanted us to stay with him so we chose that option instead.  It was probably for the best because my grandmother has a bit of a hoarding problem and it was evident when I went over there and she answered the door in a sweat and was trying to pick up her space so we could actually walk in the house.  I had feared this would happen, but what can I do when I live 6 hours away?  My mother had helped her originally pare down and keep it down, but over the year and a half she had fallen back to her old ways.  Most of the living spaces were just cluttered, but the kitchen was an atrocity.  Both Chloe and I had to hold back the tears at how our beloved Meem was living.  No 82 year old should have to be like this.

Despite all of this, she looked to be in good health and good spirits for turning 82.  Both Chloe and I jumped right in and started to clean.  This has to be done with a delicate hand when you are working with a hoarder.  They have a strange attachment to things of no personal value.  It has nothing to do with the items as much as it is the blanket that covers them, the hoard keeps them safe from the outside world.  I told her everything I was going to do before I did it.  I asked her advice when making rearrangements and as we went further into the hoard she was more and more willing. It took me 4 hours to redo her pantry which is no bigger than a small walk in closet.  It took me at least 4-6 more hours to do the rest of the cupboards in her kitchen.  When I left, her dishes were clean and all her walk ways were cleared up.  My biggest fear was her falling in the night and no one would ever know it because she doesn't often answer the phone or the door. When we were done, she thanked me for unburying her, for being so kind with her things, and considerate of her unusual collection of empty yogurt cups.  Most of her food was expired and I told her that she needed to be careful before she ate anything.  We would have needed a therapist if we were throwing the food away.

On her 82nd birthday we were going to take her out to dinner, but Pop and Carol suggested we have her over for a cook out.  We made chicken, hot dogs, hamburgers, baked beans, salad, potato salad and the neighbor made her a pumpkin birthday cake.  Just a small amount of my Pop's family came along with a few of their neighbors. The weather was perfect.  Meem was so surprised when we came out of the apartment with a candle lit and everyone sang her Happy Birthday. She was unusually outgoing and talkative.  She had a certain glow about her.  When I was walking her to the car to take her home she told me in all her years it was the best birthday party she had ever had. Tears brimmed in my eyes as well as Chloe's and it felt so good to be human and vulnerable and compassionate at that moment.  Meem has been my heart for so long.  Her quiet love and understanding one of the most beautiful things I have ever known.  It was my personal honor that she had such a great night and that this gathering of people gave her a feeling of warmth and confidence.

Chloe and I had plenty of time to spend with Pop and Carol.  We had been working on our relationship for a few years now, but it is different to spend physical time with someone.  I was especially happy that my daughter got to spend time with her grandparents and get to know them as she has not really had the opportunity.  This is my fault in great part and the other part was sometimes distance and time.  I should have made more of an effort and I didn't, but from this step we take another.

There were lots of times of laughter and so many early mornings (6 am is NOT sleeping in!) and good food. I took Chloe to the best hot dog stand I know...Buster's!!

There were walks with the dog and teaching them how to use the computer and beautiful, comfortable silence that only happens with people you love.

Geocaching Horseshoe Falls-DNF

Geocaching Baldwin Park-Yay we found one!

Geocaching Terryville Waterwheel-DNF

Recently, Chloe and I started geocaching.  For those of you not in the know, it is like treasure hunting without treasure.  It is often physically and mentally demanding (especially if you are directionally challenged).  It takes patience and perseverance. When you find it, you feel elated and high and so proud of yourself.  When we don't find the cache we are a bit disappointed but hell if it doesn't make me want to go back.  It is like knowing you are standing next to the red X on the ground and just can't see it.  It makes me feel alive for some reason.  I drag Chloe along even when she doesn't want to because two sets of eyes are better than one and hell if we all couldn't use a little more exercise.

Because of my close proximity to Massachusetts, I was able to meet up with my Forked Road mate, my 555 publisher Joseph Bouthiette Jr.  We had been friends for years on the internet and more than once he has pushed me to write when I thought there was nothing left in the tank.  He was just as fun and quirky in person as he has been online.  He is a man with so much knowledge and drive and has a head full of ideas that often baffle me and move me to explore my own mind.  It was fun to share a dinner experience with him and his lady Kaylee.  My kiddo was even more outgoing than usual and asked him questions.  Normally she sits there like a silent partner.  It was good to see her have a bit more confidence in herself.  It also means Joe was cool as hell to bring this out in her.

We decided in the end to come home early.  It was blistering hot in Connecticut and I missed Michael so much.  I missed my home and my dog and my garden and the view from my sidewalk.  I missed my bed and my routines.  There is nothing like visiting your hometown, but nothing better than going home. There is nothing like having the opportunity to have a place you love so much you can't stand to be away.  I have longed for this my whole life.  I finally have it.  I feel like a million bucks.  I feel blessed as hell.

7/12/2015 Going Home

Aleathia says:

This week I prepare to go home for the first time since my mother died.  I hadn't really had time to think about what that means to me until today.  I am not exactly sure how I will feel about seeing all the familiar sights of home knowing that I won't have to wait 3 hours for my mom to get ready to go anywhere or smell her perfume or hear her incessant talking about whatever squirrels her brain.  This isn't a sad trip by any means.  It is a trip of new beginnings which can be just as scary as sorrow.  I'm opening my heart to whatever comes my way.

I turned 42 this year and the true meaning of life reveals itself when we are ready to see it.  I am blessed in so many ways.  I have nothing to complain about though I usually can find things to blather on about when I'm not mindful.  I'm hoping to DO as little as possible this time around and enjoy what summer has to offer as it offers itself.

This year my Meem will be turning 82 years old.  I know her days are numbered as she reaches the sunset of her life and I have looked up to this woman my whole life.  She has always been my rock; a silent partner of courage.  It will be great to see her again and I hope she has been doing well.  I call, but she hardly ever answers the phone.  That is just how she is...mostly silent and wise and very happy to be in her own company for long periods of time.

This trip will be the first time my Pop has had a chance to get to know his grand-daughter, really know her as a person.  Their encounters in recent history have been awkward exchanges at funerals or when she was too young to really remember.  I hope it is the beginning of a wonderful relationship, because he is a pretty amazing man.  The stories of his adventures in this great country have always seemed fantastical to me.  He is a man of patience and perseverance.  He is honest to a fault.  He is a man of quiet love.  All the best things in my life I have learned from him despite our scattered time together over the years.  Many people talk a good game, he just lives one.

This trip will be about spending time with family, laughing, talking, and sharing ourselves in an honest way.  I might even get to meet a few friends whom I have known online and who I have collaborated with as a writer.  Who knows....we might even work some geocaching in there too.

7/3/2015 Liliana Porter, artist

Aleathia says:

It is the wee hours of the morning and for some reason I cannot sleep and do not feel like myself. Maybe it is the dregs of this full moon phase pulling me in theoretical directions.  One cannot be sure. So like all good modern folk, I started to troll social media and remembered that I had a Tumblr account.  I thought it would be good to see what was floating around in the art world that I had not yet seen.

I came across a post from someone in my feed about an artist named Liliana Porter.  I am often not sure what attracts me to certain kinds of art and I love how the brain is so independent in that way.  Liliana Porter is an artist originally from Argentina but has been living in NYC since 1964.  Her work takes on several different medias including photography, works on paper, works on canvas, and installation art.  When I started looking through her gallery of work I could not help but miss Cy Twombly.  There is something about the vast amount of white in her work and the way images are placed on the canvas that give me the same delight as Twombly's work does.  I was lucky enough to see an installation of Twombly sculptures in Chicago several years ago.  It was also heavy on the white.

If you would like to read more about Liliana Porter you can visit her website.

Here is her artist's statement:

"In the last years, parallel to photography and video, I have been making works on canvas, prints, drawings, collages, and small installations. Many of these pieces depict a cast of characters that are inanimate objects, toys and figurines that I find in flea markets, antique stores, and other odd places. The objects have a double existence. On the one hand they are mere appearance, insubstantial ornaments, but, at the same time, have a gaze that can be animated by the viewer, who, through it, can project the inclination to endow things with an interiority and identity. These "theatrical vignettes" are constructed as visual comments that speak of the human condition. I am interested in the simultaneity of humor and distress, banality and the possibility of meaning."

Works on Paper

Works on Canvas

Installations

7/1/2015 Relay for Life (I have the best co-workers)

Aleathia says:

June 19th the Relay for Life happened in my town.  The idea for a team started after taking my daughter to a committee meeting because her father was not available to take her.  I got to thinking about how I had not given back to the community...I had been selfish for a number of years covering my own wounds from grief.  My daughter's involvement sparked me to do something good.

I started a team for our hospital, Corning ER and Friends, in hopes that my co-workers would join me in the fight against cancer.  It has touched all of our lives in some way or another.  Recently I have lost a lot of family to cancer.  I have some family who has survived it, including myself, and some who may not.  Each journey is different.  Each struggle personal.

To raise money, I made eye pillows that were filled with rice and scented with Lavender, Peppermint, or Bergamot.  I was surprised at how well received it was in pre-sales (not so much at the event), but my co-workers really bought them up and I hope they provide some comfort in the end. I also had hand made journals for sale. Robin Cooper made beautiful tote bags that we raffled off and Vicki Knarr did chair massages at the event which was greatly received.  Melody Ginnan came and watched the sales table for part of the night.

My best girlfriend Marlene Greenall stuck it out all night with me.  She walked as much as she could and kept me going in the hours when I could have dropped on the ground and fell asleep.  I walked 17 miles in less than 24 hours and I hurt for a week afterwards, but nothing takes away that feeling that something good was done here.  My favorite and most humbling moment was when I had to walk the Survivor's lap.  People applauding that fact that I was still alive and inside I felt like maybe I didn't deserve that honor.  My struggle was more emotional than physical and after my surgery I did not need any kind of chemo or radiation, but there was a point where they told me I might not have children.  I was 27 years old.  It was devastating, but I thought, at least I will have my life.  As I made my way around the track, my daughter came up beside me and asked if she could walk with me because she was pretty glad I was still alive.  It was hard to hold back the tears of joy to be there with all of these people who had fought and won, to remember all of those people who didn't win.

I love that my co-workers came out to support the even, donated their money and their time. Thank you Kristen Heck, Melanie Vanzile, Vicki Knarr, Robin Cooper, Tammy Monahan, Andrea Champion, Stephanie Manning, Meloday Ginnan, Tina Losey, Marlene Greenall,and Mary Buth. We even had a few folks from Rural Metro show up to give their support.  Thanks Billy Sanford and Joe Hawkins!

Our team looked to raise $1,000 and we beat our goal at $1,100!!  Our event hoped to raise $85,000 and we blew it out of the water raising $106,000 making us the largest fundraiser in our region! Us..tiny little Corning, NY.  Great job to our community and to everyone that came out.  It was a blessed evening and I can't wait to do it again next year with a little more time to prepare.  Love you all.