We Meet at the Forked Road

Welcome to The Forked Road.  This is going to be a journey that neither of us really know where it will end up, but are sharing it in hopes that it will not only bring us closer together as friends and women, but maybe help inspire people to be creative in whatever capacity they have and to share lessons in life as we learn them from two different perspectives.

In the last month, I have been really losing my brains over the death of my mother and Michelle has gone through the loss of a relationship.  Both of us searching for a way to make the pain stop and to somehow quit walking the same damn circle over and over and over again.  We wanted to be present in our lives, not just existing...barely.

The both of us are intelligent women.  We know what we want in the world, we are kind, we are funny, we are creative, and we have in some way been abused.  Many of us have.  This abuse does not make us special, but it is how we approach our lives after abuse that speaks to our nature.

17 years ago I met a man named Daniel in Seattle and got invited to a Tibetan New Year festival.  I went not knowing what to expect and had an experience that changed my life.  I started studying Buddhism and practicing with a teacher.  I went on a 10 day retreat in the woods and was headed, quite possibly, for a path that was mired deep in spirituality so much so that I was considering abandoning my life at the time in devotion.  Then, I got pregnant and my path changed.  Buddhism stayed with me, but I moved to a rural community that was primarily Christian so my practice came from books and solitary understanding.  In the last year or so, I have been lost.

Last week, Michelle sent me a video of a Buddhist therapist going over the very basics of The Four Noble Truths.  I had learned them so many years ago.  They are the basis of everything and I had forgotten their power to center.

Four Noble Truths: Buddha's Psychology of Freedom by Dr. Miles Neale

Aleathia: I listened to this video on my phone, shortly after sunrise, while walking the dog.  It really crushed me and had me in tears by the end.  I had forgotten everything.  I had let myself get spun in the wheel without any notice and I was tangled deep and drowning.  I have been to that place many times and thought I had fully gotten out each time, but that morning I realized that I had left one foot in wheel all the time.  This video has set me back on track to where I need to be.  It will be a long journey, but one I am ready to start again.

Michelle: A friend suggested I watch this video a few weeks ago when I was waist deep despair. I haven't been the same since that night. I started a strict meditation practice a few months ago and it was this information that I was missing. This basic understanding was what I lacked even though I read countless books on Buddhism. It's refreshing to hear the breakdown, in an endearing way, while linking the psychology/neuroscience at the root of study. I immediately felt empowered and immensely grateful. "Don't take for granted your perception of reality", he states.

Heartbroken, living out of a suitcase, life in a storage unit, negative thoughts swirling around my head, searching for refuge in my soul. Then it was clear, all this can change. I decided to be committed to myself, maybe for the first time in my life. I am excited and grateful to be on this journey.


Aleathia's current spiritual reading material:

This book has really supported what the teaching on the Four Noble Truths reminded me of.  I am not finished with it, but it has helped to make me more mindful in this time of change when everything in my life has been altered and I am learning to flow with the changes instead of crumble. Having a book to reference makes all the groundless moments seem possible to tread.



Michelle's current spiritual reading material:

I read this book 2 years ago and after viewing this video I went out immediately and started it again. I have found amazing strength within that I was not tapping into. This book gets deep within the processes of how the brain effects thought, strategies for rewiring your head, meditations, tips for calming the body, explaining how this is a neuroscience, all while using Buddhist teachings as a guide.

I have found myself feeling more in control of thoughts and have been practicing everyday to change my perception about what pops into my head. When have a thought like "my life is a mess, my relationship is over, I am so sad and angry", I replace it with an antidote immediately. I think of how I am not in that relationship anymore and that I'm facing a new direction. I think about the wonderful people I have in my life, and how they know all my parts and love me. I make my brain think of all the things that are beautiful in my life right at that moment. The list is long. Practicing the skill of replacing negative with positive is making new grooves in my gray matter. It is a disciplined practice and we are all worth the effort. It is life changing.

Thanks for reading and we hope you enjoy the video and feel compelled to check out a few books.  Blessings.

Aleathia and Michelle