For my daughter's 13th birthday I decided to make her a "mix tape" from music I thought she might be interested in. She had spent the last few years listening to dub step, but I could tell she was getting bored with it. She is a girl on the edge of an identity and what shapes that more than music? Don't we all have a soundtrack to our lives that draws us back to long ago times when we hear a particular band?
Like a good mom, I listened to some of what she was interested in and tried to pluck attributes from these that might show up in music I already owned. I stuck to college music, old school fun music, and stuff with a bit of a dark edge to it that wasn't detrimental. Let's face it. I can't let the kid survive on dub step and weird shit like Black Veil Brides. I want her to eventually move on to music that is made with instruments for goodness sake.
Last summer we took her to see Dean Ween Group and Primus. It was a bit overwhelming for her with the crowds and the drugs and the douche bags from the city, but she did enjoy it.
I can't find the official list of 18 songs I gave to her but I know there were bands like Radiohead, B-52's, Andrew Bird, Bon Iver, Panic at the Disco!, PJ Harvey, Bowerbirds, Death Cab for Cutie, Band of Horses, and bands like those. I thought she might listen to it once and move on...politely stuffing it in her desk drawer with the other music she never listens to. But when she got iTunes cards for Christmas she downloaded Andrew Bird and Band of Horses. She borrowed my Death Cab for Cutie and hasn't been able to stop listening to it...on repeat and has asked to borrow others for downloading like B-52's, PJ Harvey and Radiohead.
For her birthday, her father bought her tickets to see Jack White at Madison Square Garden. She is hitting the big leagues. I look forward to making her another "mix tape". There were lots of great bands I couldn't fit on the last one and now that I know what she likes from that one, I can in effect create her own personal Pandora station from our listening library.
I remember my youth and all the joy I got from walking for hours listening to my Walkman memorizing all the lyrics and every lick of a guitar. It was like I got to grow up on my own terms. I had something my mom would never understand (though now I know her musical tastes did influence me in the long run). Don't be afraid to share you music with your kids. They might not tell you they like it to your face, but you might just catch them singing the lyrics to "Private Idaho" when they think you aren't listening. It is the small victories that count. Remember that.
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