The Importance of Pain
"Before we can know what natural warmth really is, often we must experience loss. We go along for years moving through our days, propelled by habit, taking life pretty much for granted. Then we or someone dear to us has an accident or gets seriously ill, and it's as if blinders have been removed from our eyes. We see the meaninglessness of so much of what we do and the emptiness of so much we cling to.
When my mother died and I was asked to go through her personal belongings, this awareness hit me hard. She had kept boxes of papers and trinkets that she treasured, things that she held on to through her many moves to smaller and smaller accommodations. They had represented security and comfort for her, and she had been unable to let them go. Now they were just boxes of stuff, things that held no meaning and represented no comfort or security to anyone. For me these were just empty objects, yet she had clung to them. Seeing this made me sad, and also thoughtful. After that I could never look at my own treasured objects in the same way. I had seen that things themselves are just what they are, neither precious nor worthless, and that all the labels, all our views and opinions about them, are arbitrary."
Pema Chodron, Taking the Leap
This passage was especially helpful to me when my own mother passed and I faced looking through her things. Many of the items sent to me were of no meaning to me, not like they were to my mother, but I could sense she loved them. Loss is the great equalizer. It sets the balance in the world and it wakes you up. There are still moments that catch me off guard for no apparent reason and I am put to tears. Life is precious. Be thankful every day for the world around you.
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