I realized this morning after a long, hard night at work that I can only do as much as I can do. I place a lot of expectations on myself to be the best that I can be. This leaves me with a severe character sometimes and basically makes me "unfun". I think I put these expectations on my 12 year old and in some way it doesn't allow her to be a kid when she needs to most.
The tween years of childhood have been difficult for me. She is distant and then close. I am important but not important. I am confused. There is no straight lines to draw, no dots to connect and this is hard on a person with expectations of herself. Sometimes I will just have to let go and leave it to the hands of fate and keep a watchful eye knowing I may not be able to control the situation.
In the end most everything works itself out. I have to believe this. I have to remember this or I will live out my days in anxiety and a self-imposed misery that does not need to be there. Basically, shit happens. I have to learn to step over it.
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