Over the last three years I was lucky enough to have the love of my life home with me all the time. I was lucky enough to have a wage that could afford to make this happen. It gave us time to grow our new relationship. It gave him time to heal from the death of his mother and his best friend. It allowed him to be there through the deaths of my mother, cousin, aunt, and several friends/co-workers. I am not particularly sure where I would be emotionally without his great big heart next to mine.
Recently he decided he wanted to go back to work. He wanted to contribute and get back out into the world. This is a great thing. We could always use the money these days with a house and the bills that go with it. It would be nice to take a real vacation in the future instead of state side camping. So out he went looking. He was hoping for something part time and thought that was all he might get in today's tight economy. It was less about the money and more about being a productive human being.
Michael found a job at Walgreen's....full time straight out the gate. He went from being here all the time to hardly being here. I have to say the whole household went into a sort of withdrawal. The dog went on a hunger strike and I suddenly had no idea what the hell to do with myself. All my days were filled with conversations between the two of us and now the house was silent leaving me to converse with the dog. This is a particularly quiet, one-sided monologue at times.
What I realized is that I had taken for granted that he would always be there when my heart and mind needed him. I took for granted all the things he did around the house that I had stopped noticing until I now had to pick some of them back up. I was having a hard go of "enjoy the time we have" because I was feeling very abandoned. I know, grow up lady, you're 41 years old.
Michael is happier working and he smiles more and who can argue with that? It all works out in the end. It has been a rough few weeks adjusting. I had always thought I was a bit more open and flexible than this. Some lessons are learned the hard way.
Today's message is to remember not to take all those precious people in your life for granted. Don't take the time you have with them as something that will always be there. Love the time you have. Gather up the small moments. Use the time apart to build your own life up and enjoy those things you do solo. Love your life.
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