This morning I was walking the dog and listening to a Buddhist teaching. It was a rough one that vanquished the idea of what we think hope is....hope is poverty because it gives you a false sense of suffering in the world. I struggled with this one and my body felt like it wanted to physically reject the idea. This is how I know something really rings deep in me. So what does this have to do with Music Monday?
This tough idea made me think about my teenage years when my mother was going through brain surgeries for trigemnialneuralgia. I was largely in charge of taking care of her at the age of 14. I cooked and cleaned, wrote out the bills, took care of my brother, and cleaned up after my mother. It is what you are supposed to do for those you love despite how hard it is and how much you miss. She never forgot my kindness even in her heyday of alcoholism. When she was very ill she loved to play Johnny Mathis on repeat. It was the only thing that soothed her and the only thing that gave her hope. Hope is poverty because it gives you a false sense of suffering in the world. There it was again.
In the final box of my mother's items that arrived at my house, inside were a sleeve of CD's. Some of them from the more recent years of her music taste and others from the days I remember...Johnny Mathis, The Everly Brothers, Traffic, and Meatloaf. So here is a song that I have heard over the years that always reminds me of a dark time for my mother, but reminds me of how I was able to rise to the occasion and be a better person for it.
Johnny Mathis-"Chances Are"
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