First of all, Happy Mother's Day. I hope all of you ladies who have taken on the responsibility of rearing children enjoy a day to celebrate what a hard job this is. It is a daunting task to prepare another human to go out into the world that will be all together foreign to you both. The child lives in the world of today and often, as parents and mothers, we are in the world that was. This is why we find ourselves distanced from our children as they get older.
After my mother died, I realized this notion. I see now that what I pushed away all those years ago is exactly where I am today. I speak the virtues of the world to my own child who does not listen to me; who thinks I'm crazy and doesn't know what I am talking about. Weren't we all so expansive and closed at the same time?
Today's video is of Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche who is from Bhutan. I like his manner and the way he connects everyday things to deep concepts. In the video he candidly speaks about relationships and professions.
Relationships:
"Many times we have too strong expectations, negative and positive....that always ruins the relationship"-Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche
When I heard this particular talk I had to laugh, because it is so true. We place such high expectations on everyone we know and sometimes these are not goals they want or need to achieve for themselves. It made me think about my own relationship with my daughter. I expect so much of her and I am deeply pained when she fails the bar I have set. It is hard for me to understand whether I should not have expectations for her and let her land where she may...which could be deep suffering, or do I continue to challenge her sensibilities? This is something to think about in a serious way.
Professions:
"Many young people are too idealistic, they like to do things like musician and art. They end up mixing their hobby and work...my advice is to do the job you don't like to do so that you can do the rest."-Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche
This is so important for the generation of children today. In the world right now with our economy there are so many students with degrees in fields that yield them nothing. They have no jobs, no prospect of work and are forced to take on jobs well below their education and ability to make ends meet. What I take from this is do a career that is industrious, one that has longevity. You can gain from it the time and money to pursue the things you love. When you make your hobby your job, you have nothing fun to do outside of work.
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